I wish crying fixed things the way it did when we were little. But it doesn't. Oftentimes now it makes it worse because I have expended even more energy on a problem that I want to go away. I pretend to be tough and strong and able to fight my battles and the battles of my friends against their persecutors, but I'm not. When I'm alone at night...I crack. And I'm afraid that soon I'll break entirely beyond repair. I want desperately to cry for help...but no one can do anything even if I do seek help. I am the only one who can help myself but I don't know how. And everything in me screams that I don't deserve help in the first place.
Yet...
help me.
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